Detachment is a great place to begin. Detachment doesn’t mean cutting off and it doesn’t mean running away. It means learning to separate two different things; the world outside and the world inside. Outside is my job, bank manager, relationships, family etc. Inside are my feelings, thoughts, perception, consciousness etc; which are less easily measured and all of this is my inner world. Understanding that I am the detached observer, means I can creatively experiment with the Art of Choice.
The Art of Choice is the ability to stand back and look inside your own mind. Like any skill or learnt behaviour looking inside your mind can be be very powerful but if you don’t take the time and trouble to do it for yourself, then what usually happens is the life and the outside world pushes you around because you have not chosen the direction yourself. (remember the little boat adrift)
Discovering Emotional Discomfort:
Pain can be useful; but suffering—there is absolutely nothing useful about suffering. Pain lets us know that something is wrong. It is an indicator that we need to change what we’re doing. But suffering is a choice—one that we all choose from time to time—and we can choose to stop suffering, to learn a lesson from the pain and move on with our lives.
Your mind is programmable, if your not programming it someone or something else is.