Once we can accept the responsibility for ourselves and accept that we are on a journey, that we don’t have all the answers yet, then we can start to delve deeper into the Art of Choice. The first place we want to look is inside, we first must understand who we are before we can start to relate to the world in a different way. Most people can answer questions about their role, their career, about how they are perceived by their social group or family however when ask simple questions about themselves they have to ponder and sometimes that is where the conversation stops…
I ask –
What value do you bring into this world?
What is your intrinsic value?
Ask yourself –
What are the three things you value most about who you are?
Why am I lovable, or even likeable?
Everything that we attract into our world, our life is a reflection of how much we value ourselves, of our self worth and a mirror image of what we believe we deserve. Understanding that our self esteem levels are the internalisation of this process, means that we can raise our self esteem by simple understanding the answers to these questions – who I am today? what are my intrinsic values? why am I lovable?
Many of us have a story, we have a view of ourselves and our life, we are given this story sometimes by others and even provided with a role to play in this story. We believe we are hardworking, kind, thoughtful maybe however we don’t really understand who we are today, the person I am right now, what it is that is truly valuable about me. Are we just living up to other people’s expectations of who we should be?
If I can understand my true value, if I can know what it is about me that is likable or dare I say lovable, well then its easy to for me to make decisions that match the person that I am or easy for me to make mistakes and smile, knowing it’s helping me to grow. I understand that I am right where I need to be, I am the centre of my universe!
Consider this story: A man is sitting with his wife and family, flying over the Atlantic to New York, everything is good until suddenly the plane starts to drop from the sky. The lights in the cabin come on, the emergency sign flashes, the oxygen masks fall from above. The man’s automatic preprogrammed reaction is to get up to help his wife, he pulls her seat belt and puts her mask on, then the kids, each in turn helps them get secure. On the way back to his seat he stops to help another family and elderly woman. Consider this man running around helping everyone but himself, he collapses on the floor with no oxygen! He wonders why can’t I too breath.We too play our role automatically not understanding the reality, that we can only take care of others once we have taken care of ourselves.
I am the Centre of my Universe:
We learn that we shouldn’t blow our own trumpet or celebrate too loudly our successes. We must consider others or dampen ourselves too not offend. Sometimes we think it’s an either/or situation, that I must choose between benefit for me or benefit for them, but this is not so. Something damaging or dangerous for me will also have an impact on others. If there is something which is powerful and truly beneficial to me, then the benefits that I have gained will be a resource available to me to use for the benefit of everyone around me. This is why we can choose to place ourselves at the centre of our universe, with the understanding that once are oxygen mask is firmly secured only then can we truly and consistently be there for others.